351: Free Master Class on Perfectionism, Part 2 of 2

Jul 3, 2023

A Second Visit to David and Jill's

Tuesday TEAM Training Group at Stanford

Last week, you “sat in” on our Tuesday training group at Stanford and learned about two of the four most important techniques in the treatment of perfectionism, or any other Self-Defeating Belief. (For a list of 23 common Self-Defeating Beliefs, click here.)

• The Cost-Benefit Analysis (CBA): You weight the advantages against the disadvantages of trying to be perfect.

• The Semantic Technique, to find out how to word your new belief if you decide that your perfectionism belief isn’t working for you

The purpose of those two techniques is to provide intellectual change. Tonight, you will join us again as we aim for emotional change at the gut level.

This will be our agenda for the students in the class you will observe:

1. Please describe an example of a specific time when you felt upset due to perfectionism. What were your negative thoughts? How were you feeling? What was happening?

2. Downward Arrow Technique: Suppose you weren’t perfect, or you failed or screwed up in some way. Why would that be upsetting to you? What would that mean to you.

3. Externalization of Voices (Optional: possibly we will do this, maybe just mention it, depending on time.)

4. Experimental Technique / Examine the Evidence

5. Feared Fantasy

6. Wrap-up and Teaching Points

As you can see, some exercises will be performed in the large group, with everyone present and contributing, and some exercises will be in the small, breakout groups. The small groups provide more time for participants to practice. We plan on recording both of the small groups so you can observe the training techniques we use for mental health professionals.

Last week our focus was motivational, so we asked: is to your advantage to aim for perfection? How will this mind set help you and how will it hurt you?

Tonight, one of the key techniques will focus on TRUTH: is it TRUE that you need to aim for perfection? We will be using the Experimental Technique and / or Examine the Evidence to see if we can answer this question.

In addition, we will go into an Alice-in-Wonderland Nightmare World and meet an imaginary monster who claims superiority because she or he really is perfect and really has achieved incredibly more than anyone. This can sometimes help us answer two questions: Is it possible to be or become a “more worthwhile” or “superior” human being? Would it be desirable if you could?

I hope you enjoyed this new format of “dropping in” on my Tuesday training group at Stanford. Let Rhonda and me know what you think. It was just an experiment, and we want to know what you might have liked or disliked about it. Thanks!

Our free weekly Tuesday and Wednesday training groups are open to therapists of all persuasions from all around the world. For information including the requirements, you can contact:

• Tuesday night training group with David and Jill, Contact Ed Walton: [e-mail]

• Wednesday mid-day group with Dr. Rhonda Barovsky and Richard Lam, Contact Ana Teresa Silva:  [e-mail]